I've been in a wonderful mood since Wednesday, despite horrible bills and, hopefully, not just as a result of fluoxetine. I've been on the antidepressant - more commonly known as Prozac - since June 2003, and it scares me to think how I might feel if I came off it. But it also scares me that I might be on it for the rest of my life, for that very reason.
Prozac has the effect of flattening out your mood so that you no longer experience the lows - in my case anger or extreme self-pity. However, it means that you also miss out on the highs, and there are times when I feel numb, knowing that I should be feeling something, but the emotions don't come, or are dull in comparison to how I think they should be. I miss feeling my own feelings...if that makes sense. I saw Walk The Line last night, and wanted to cry in the first half hour, but the tears wouldn't come. Very odd.
What I hope is that the increased serotonin in my body as a result of running will enable me to wean myself off the anti-Ds over the next few months. And I can start feeling again...feeling everything.
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