It's funny how a lot of these feelings about your own body are totally subjective. I had a long day with lots of exercise packed in to it today, and someone said to me "You look great. Your body shape has changed". So it made me feel a bit better about being heavier. The evidence is there that I've put on weight - my clothes are tighter - but people think I look great. How does that work?
I am quite determined to keep on with this. I've done it before and I can do it again. But I must confess I do have moments when I picture my life stretching ahead of me, knowing that I'll never be able to slack off. Sometimes I understand these people who just give up, slob out, let go. It's so much easier than all this discipline and watchfulness. Oh, but I loathe them too - and I think my attitude to fat people (surely, and sadly, the last socially acceptable prejudice) stems from this: it's just not fair that some people get to stop caring what they look like!
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