I think I might have the opposite of anorexia - my problem is that I don't realise I'm fat. I'll be carrying on happily, thinking I look fine, and then all of a sudden, out of the blue, I will see a photo of myself or glimpse myself in some sly mirror and all of a sudden the thought will hit me: is that porker really me?
It's no bad thing, of course, to be generally happy about my appearance most of the time, but I do have to confront myself head on in the mirrored lift to my office in the morning, which as I've remarked before, is broadly similar to being forced by the harpies in What Not To Wear into a 360 degree mirrored box to take full, appalled stock of the state I'm in. However, I've developed avoidance tactics as time has gone by, which basically means looking up at the ceiling.
I also maintain, although I have no scientific basis for this assertion, that digital photographs make you look fatter than you really are, just as TV cameras reportedly add pounds to your weight.
I will probably continue in blissful ignorance of how much I've let myself go until my clothes start to burst at the seams and I will be forced to take action. In the meantime my "glamorexia" problems will continue unchecked.
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I have the same thing...it's great isn't it? Have abandoned all pretence at dieting in favour of a more joyful approach to food (i.e. anything goes and the more of it the better). I'm banking on exercise to provide my salvation (but not until after Christmas). When I was at my lightest in my adult life (1996, 8 and a half stone), I thought I was fat. I would look at other women in the gym and then at myself and just see flag. I'm told by some who knew me then that I was too skinny. Just shows you how body dysmorphic disorder can work both ways.
Or flab even.
Oh yes. Recognised and seconded. You'd think that the horror of seeing myself in a photo as I really am would shock me into doing something about it. It makes me cry and depresses me, but sends me to the Doritos too.
I would argue that how you are in a photo is not how you really are. The person that others see moves and has three dimensions. For me, that explains why the Claire that I see in the mirror doesn't look as bad as the one in photos.
I have recently found a load of photos of myself from 10 years ago. looking at them i can't believe how skinny i was then. the irony/sadness was that i thought i was way too fat then.
anyway, i'm resolved not to make the same mistake twice. whatever my shape now (ample, but reducing) I will celebrate it.
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