Keep it tight, people

Never fear, I'm still here, and am pleased to report that I have lost two kilos in the last few weeks - work disasters, and travelling, and a renewed determination, coupled with the realisation that I'm going to be 40 next year, to be fitter than I have ever been in my life, have all helped.

To quote fatfighters' guru, Billy Blanks, these are my goals:

1. Get fit
2. Have fun
3. Be strong

Two weeks in...

...and I definitely have a flatter stomach - less bloating as a result of no bread, flour or pasta for two weeks. I modified the idiot-proof diet a bit - for example I drank wine and a bit of tea and coffee and ate fruit - and would, I'm sure, have seen better results if I'd stuck to it rigidly. In addition, I drank nowhere near as much water as was recommended. However, generally I feel a lot better. I've also become addicted to going to the gym; in fact, to exercise generally - not a bad thing to become addicted to, really. This weekend I went on two short but strenuous - i.e. uphill - walks with the Peas. In the past, I've been far too lazy to go anywhere further than the park with them. So not only did I get a bit of exercise where I normally wouldn't, we had a lot of fun together. Fatfighter 1, one of the walks was up Garleton hill - remember that? It was blowing a force 10 gale, and as we got to the top of the tower Joe refused to carry on, while Finn needed coaxed to get to the top, took one look over the edge and demanded to go down again. I must admit, I was shaking a bit afterwards! It brought back lots of memories of childhood walks, Martin Bielby and so on.

How is everyone else doing? I'm feeling a bit lonesome here.

Updates

No one has posted on Fatfighters for ages, so I hope this prompts others to post too! I've recently abandoned all pretence at being on a diet, although I've been exercising diligently, five or six days a week. Absence of Peas' dad to work offshore is somewhat inconvenient. I'm more likely to be found scrabbling under the sofa for lost toys, admiring someone's superhero outfit or trying to persuade a recalcitrant four year old that just because it doesn't have chocolate in it doesn't mean it tastes disgusting, than pounding the highways and byways of East Lothian in my running gear. I'm back on the booze too, though not to the same dangerous levels - and I mean dangerous - as before. Have stopped smoking too...would never say never in that regard, but it's been nearly four weeks since my last fag. Chewing away on nicotine gum seems to help ;-)

On Monday, I shall be starting Neris and India's idiot-proof diet. Fatfighter 4 has been on it for almost four weeks. I'll leave it to her to say how it's going. However, it's making increasing sense to me to cut out or limit carbohydrates. The book suggests doing the most restricted phase - phase 1 - for two weeks, unless you have more than a stone to lose. I probably do, but I'm happy to move on to phase 2 after a fortnight and take my chances, especially as most of my extra weight is around my middle, i.e. quite a lot of me is fairly lean. Well, perhaps not lean, but not too flabby. I've also decided to forsake the scales in favour of the measuring tape. I still don't know how much I weigh, but would guess it's in the region of 11 and a half stone, or 161 kilos.

Will post on progress in about two weeks' time!

Testing!

Just wanted to check this works before I make a new post (blog is still using old version of Blogger).

Want to lose 2kg in 3 days????????

No - it's not McKeith. No - it's not cabbage soup and nothing else. Not even wall to wall step classes.

I highly recommend food poisoning. OK, the side effects are fairly extreme, and heaven knows you're not much fun to be with for a couple of days - but what price being slim I ask you??

Modern suction

Interesting article in today's Guardian about the rise of liposuction. It truly sounds like an absolutely horrific procedure, not to say somewhat pointless, and your body takes months to recover: yet nearly 30,000 people, 92% of them women, have undergone the procedure in the last year.

Picture on the wall

At my 40th birthday party recently my mum had selected a bunch of photos for the wall depicting me from age 0 to 39. It's funny how you forget how you looked once. I was struck by one photo in particular, which showed me, my sister, my brother and my mum outside my aunt's house near Huddersfield. The sun is shining and we're all smiling. It's the summer of 1996, and I'm about to start my final year at university. Fatfighter 1 has met or is just about to meet her future husband.

It's interesting to see some photographic evidence of the slimmest I've been in my life, post-early 20s. I weighed just under 9 stone then, and it's obvious. At the time, I was following a strict eating regime in which I avoided refined carbs, coffee and all alcohol except gin and vodka. I may have mentioned it before - it was recommended to me by a naturopath, when I went to see him about my lack of energy. Iwas also running three or four times a week and going to the gym two or three times a week. I cycled everywhere. I would love to go back to living that way - I mean, I was happy too! - but can't get my head round doing without treats in these days of work and childcare and not much else. Any suggestions, anyone?

A Guide to An Idiot (or "When Will I Ever Learn?")

So after reading this (be careful if you have PMT!) I scuttled off to Waterstones to avail myself of Neris and India's Idiot-proof Diet. It's a diet, but it wasn't proof against this idiot.

Basically, it's Atkins. And yes, they did lose weight and they look great. But still... I read it until the start of phase two of the diet. At which point they recommend that you stay on phase 1 of the diet until you only have a stone to lose. Ahaha (shuffles uncomfortably).

I am still considering whether to give it a go.

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Happy New Year Fatfighters, by the way. This is the year.

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And FF2, thanks for the party - great night. Lovely to meet FF1. You both look great and I begin to understand why Fatfighters is slowing down.

Hampered

Christmas is over and things can start to return to normal on the food front - once I get all those chocolates and biscuits etc etc out of the way. I gave a hamper to all my senior staff this year and was persuaded to order one for myself, so I have been looking with a sinking feeling at the remnants of it: chocolate covered cinnamon biscuits, lurid green "lollies" (the Australian word for boiled sweets), vanilla wafers, almond slices, a bar of organic chocolate... I have this awful urge just to eat it all as fast as possible, to "get it out of the way", which I know is all wrong. I might as well just staple it all straight to my hips.

I'm going to Stodge City

I look forward to Christmas with mixed feelings. Knowing, for instance, that more than one of my bete noirs, e.g. mashed potato (I'm not going to list them all, there are so many of them, but look at my profile for some hints), is bound to be present and that I will not be able to resist scooping them down my throat in vast quantities; but also knowing that FF2 and I will be running, er, every day to make up for it.

Again, on the positive side, I have been sitting on a fit ball/Swiss ball while I type on the computer at home, and I could have sworn it has made a difference, infinitesimal though it may be, to my abs. But on the other hand I've been at too many Christmas drinks events over the last few weeks and have drunk far more than is good for me. Which, pace FF2 (and I think this is unspeakably admirable), would be nothing at all.

CRazy?

This makes for most interesting reading. Let me know what you all think.

Link to organisation's website.

And...compare and contrast. Perhaps CR doesn't make you live longer - following the recipes just makes it feel like it.

Personal services

Two words: Matt Holland. Matt is an ex-marine and marathon runner who trains other runners for marathons and has competed in triathlons for Britain. He was 10 stone at the time - one stone lighter than he is now and two stone lighter than my current weight. He is doing wonders for my body; what he's doing would be even more wonderful if I cut down the calories and did more exercise. I have a pact with Matt that I try to do as much cardio work as possible during the week so that in our sessions we can concentrate on strength and core stability. We've also started doing work on the rowing machine - my favourite piece of gym equipment. Anyway, all this is a roundabout way of saying that I would highly recommend finding someone like Matt to give you the kick up the ass you need - or at least I needed - to exercise more. Not only are you paying a lot of money, which I find concentrates the mind, but you have something to aim for every week.

A blimp in the proceedings...

Sigh.

It was all going so well, too well, probably.

Since the end of the summer recess, I think it's safe to say that I have not been doing too well. Without wishing to justify myself too much, I will say that I have not been well lately. Two chest infections and two separate weeks off work since 1 September have knocked me all to cock.

I was doing well on Weight Loss Resources, but eating quite a lot of crap too. So I allowed myself to get distracted (not for the first time) by MadWoman McKeith and joyous dreams of tables laden with Mother Earth's greenest food being turned into filling, hot, nutritious meals that would strip the lumps from me faster than you could say "aduki bean stew". The fact that I can't cook at all does not intrude into these daydreams.

Needless to say, Ms McKeith's lofty ideals glow a little less brightly when you stumble in from work at 7.45pm, it's p*ssing rain and blowing a gale and all you want to eat is cheesy pasta.

Still, in the past week, things have taken a bit of a turn. I have come to some quite big decisions about other things in my life and am in the process of sloughing off some detritus that I no longer need. As a result I am getting a bit more sleep and things are seeming brighter. FF2 pointed this out to me, and I availed myself of both books. Yes, they are good books, funny and to-the-point. And there are some very good points. Whether they will help me to lose this weight remains to be seen.

And then this cheered me immensely:

Kirstie Alley on Oprah.

She claims to have done it through the Jenny Craig programme. Now, I've done a bit of investigating on the net and it looks to me as if this is a programme where you eat food that's not really food. They will actually post it to you. There's also a support thing... I got bored, I must admit. I don't care how she did it. The fact is, she's 55 and I would! (I'm very straight - ask FF2).

I don't know why other people's success buoys me up as it does, but it does. I am now going to the Tesco site to order lots of sugar-free, protein-laden scran.

Rye observation

Hey guys! I'm here to promote my new product (shurely "new discovery" - Ed). From Ryvita comes a tasty range of cereal bars with no added sugar and only 61 calories per bar. It's called the Ryvita Goodness Bar, and is available in three delicious flavours. Perfect for those comfort-eating moments!

Fat's entertainment

All right, all right - it's been an uneven kind of month, and I'm not just talking about the uneven rolls of fat that - but that's enough about me!

I signed up for Weight Loss Resources, but have signally failed for the last few weeks to make any note of what I am eating - suddenly it all seemed too time-consuming. It takes real effort and dedication to do this properly.

However, I feel some renewed inspiration now it's getting colder: I can run outside again (in Hong Kong it's too hot to run outdoors for much of the year) and I have vowed to start going to the gym again. I seem somehow to have begun to be able to lapse without killing myself with guilt because I either ate something I shouldn't have, or didn't exercise, or both. I know I can still make a difference and so I'm not giving up. This might be a temporary state of affairs but it feels quite good while it lasts.

So, tomorrow is another day! And it doesn't hurt having, with Fatfighter5, signed up for a marathon 1.5 hour paddle on Thursday morning for which we have to get up at 5.30 am. I just know I will feel good afterwards and I am basking in as-yet-unearned virtue already.

Where have those 3kg gone?!

FF1 knows this already as I texted her in excitment on Friday evening.
Somehow, with no conscious effort and just a couple of manageable lifestyle changes I've managed to lose 3kg in about a month. Wahey! I'm following a combo of the french woman/newly single/much happier/very busy diet plan. The crucial elements seem to be:

1. eat fruit for breakfast. Swapping a pret almond croissant for a fruit salad saves about 400 calories a throw and actually makes you feel in gerenal much healthier.

2. don't down a bottle of wine in the evening with the partner you can no longer talk to. Saves approximately 1200 calories, and a lot of heartache.

3. make sure the sports you take up mean that you can't eat at the same time. I highly recommend outrigging - yesterday spent most of my time on a boat being so sea sick that I actually lost calories (yes, was throwing up over the side for most of the afternoon....)

4. Snog younger men. Makes you suck your stomach in. good for core stability or something...

So there you have it. Will write it up into a best selling diet pack toute de suite!

Happy dieting

x

Goldilocks and the Three Bowls of Porridge

Once upon a time, there was a 39 year old with blonde highlights who liked eating porridge. She liked it so much that she didn't let the three famous, porridge-eating bears have any, and they took to eating shoots and leaves. She liked her porridge made with milk, and she liked to think of the blackhouse dwellers of the Outer Hebrides turning in their graves. She liked it with milk and she liked it with stewed fruit and then - sacrilege! - she liked it with a dollop of half-fat crème fraîche and maple syrup on top. And lo, it was yummy, and she wished that Scotland was cold all year round so she could eat it every day.

Lentement, s'il vous plaît

I'm on my fourth day of eating à la manière française. It is surprisingly difficult to eat without distractions - I find my eyes flicking around for things to read; even book titles will do - but the quantity I'm consuming has definitely decreased.

I've been having porridge and maple syrup for breakfast, but far less than I would usually have. Later, at work, I have coffee and a banana, then I go up to Boots for a wrap, and get a smoothie and a snack (of which there are many healthy options) too. That and an apple or orange gets me through till dinner time. I've been drinking lots more water during the day, and the walk to Boots constitutes a good half hour of exercise.

Soup has been a good way to start off my evening meal because it's filling and warming. Sometimes all I've had after that is cheese, fruit, oatcakes and a yogurt (Ms Guiliano is a big fan of yogurt). Evenings are traditionally my weakest time, food-wise, but I've managed to confine treats to hot chocolate made with skimmed milk. I haven't weighed myself, but I feel like there may be a little less of me than a week ago. En avant et en montant!*

*No idea whether that expression exists in French.

French impression

Not content with stopping drinking, I have turned to the French for inspiration in my quest for A Flat Stomach™. The French - allegedly, and I have little trouble believing this generally to be true - have a far less complicated relationship to food than, say, the British or Americans. To them, it is less a fuel than a cause for celebration, or ritual even. Inspired by the first couple of chapters I've read of Mireille Guiliano's French Women Don't Get Fat, I went to John Lewis today and bought a tablecloth, napkins and placemats. She recommends eating without any distractions, such as music, telly or newspapers. This is going to be challenging for me, because I never eat without one or more of those. Her approach to food is that it is there for pleasure and nothing is off limits. The problem, she says, is that we eat mindlessly, and are therefore inclined to stuff our faces beyond the point of satisfying hunger. We need to "recast" our relationship with food, so that we eat mindfully, and from a greater variety of foods. First, though, she suggests keeping a food diary for three weeks, noting what, when and where food is consumed. I started mine at the weekend, and will post again on progress when the three weeks is up. Vive la bagatelle!

Jumbo Jetsetter

There's something about being cooped up in a metal tube at 40, 000 feet that takes all normal restraint away, don't you think?

I'm recently back from a business trip and it's frankly all gone to pot. I expected that being back home for 4 days would can any diet/exercise plans and so was not too fussed about this. What I wasn't prepared for was getting back home on Saturday to find that my flat had been occupied whilst I was away.

Reader, I freaked. I found a note on my table from someone I didn't know, thanking me for the loan. My stuff had been moved around, wine drunk and flat generally used. I did the only thing I could think of, and phoned all the friends I knew. Before long, one was round with a restorative bottle of wine....

Now, turns out, through piecing together various bits of info, that what had happened here was the ex (see previous post) had had a friend in town who needed somewhere to stay, and was sure that he'd let me know about it (despite no email received, much less replied to by me). Although contrite about this I'm not sure what to believe. Anyway - back to the dieting stuff, problem was that next day I had to be at the same social as him, and in order to avoid having a stand up scene, decided to get gently pissed and avoid him. Simple, immature yet surprisingly effective. But, as we all know, a calorific disaster of immense proportions......

So now, it's back to the Allen Carr book, back to some sort of exercise regime, and back to trying to cut that horrible link between emotion and food.....